COME HOME.
As I stood there in the living room of my shack of a house looking through the window, I was overcome by an emotion I couldn't readily describe with words. I reminisced about the past and saw how empty my life had become. I lost something so precious, and now I felt a desperate desire to get it back. 'My life with him was so beautiful, I felt pure ecstasy but oh, no that intimacy is gone now. Ooooh, I lost him,' I said as tears threatened to flow. I wanted him back, but really it goes even beyond that. I needed him! Since I let go of him, life has hit me with so much: depression, frustration, loneliness and heartbreaking disappointments. When we were together, it was heavenly bliss. I swam in his love and he was always there for me. I shouldn't have listened to Gary. I thought he could do all Jes did for me, and even more. 'I shouldn't have fallen for his subtle words,' I blurted out in deep regret. 'Tracy!' I screamed out my name, and continued, 'You were stupid, damn stupid! How could you have let go of Jes?' My mind went further into memory lane and, I remembered how much love he gave me so freely, expecting nothing in return. I recalled how his strong protective arms dispelled every fear in my heart. I remembered his patience, his tolerance, his calmness and his sacrifice for me. My tears flowed unabated as I remembered that Friday, yea, the Friday when he bravely and lovingly took the punishment that should have been mine upon himself.' I never deserved him. Jes was a Prince, and I a whore but still He loved me with every heart beat of his. He took me out of my whoredom and put royalty on me. It's a pity I was quick to forget what he had done and so, I left my first love without thinking. I walked away and launched out into the wild. I left the safe haven where my one true love had placed me to be with Gary. It wasn't until Gary put off the facade he wore all the while that I saw my silly mistake. While Jes had loved and cared for me, Gary did the opposite. He used me! Jes treated me like a Queen, Gary used me like a toy, a valueless plaything. He oppressed me, almost ruining my life. Jes made me feel like the only woman in the world. But Gary killed my self-esteem. He injured my very soul. I was in dire need of all round healing- emotional, physical and spiritual. I longed to go back to the one who loved me to bits, I wanted to retrace my steps but my heart was troubled by the question, 'Would he take me back?' I had turned my back on him, I let him down, and I didn't deserve pardon. 'Would he take me back?' What I had done was beyond pardon. 'Would he forgive me and free me from my captor whom I willingly surrendered to?' The suffering, agony and oppression was too much, more than I could bear. I longed for his tender touch, that touch that gave me goose bumps, I yearned to be in his company again. I desired freedom. I missed home. Would he take me back? Would he?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Jesus is willing to forgive and heal you. Your sins may be as scarlet or red like crimson, still He's willing to pardon you and pour His love upon you. He can deliver you from the devil. Come home, precious child...
